Kaye Tench

Today’s post is about all the sincere and well meaning resolutions we made at the beginning of the year - about the reality of what it takes to reach any worthwhile goal - and the struggle it sets up in our minds from day 1 about how we are going to achieve them - and how we can learn to move through the fear and resistance that get in the way!

We all realise the tremendous dedication and motivation needed to achieve these goals we so easily set for ourselves, but so many times when we fail, we beat ourselves up and feel inadequate when nothing we do seems to head us in the directions of our set goals.

Take for instance, people who swear that this is THE year they are going to finally stop smoking. How many people do we know who say they want to quit smoking - that they have tried all sorts of different approaches/methods/treatments and still failed?

All these very well-intentioned people may well be missing one vital link as to why they have so far been unsuccessful. They are just not ready! Their conscious self really wants to stop, whilst the sub-conscious is probably saying ‘ yeah yeah - do you remember the last few times we tried this and how much hell it caused us?’

The fact of the matter is that when these people are totally, and finally ready ie conscious and self-conscious in total alignment - they will quit easily, using any of the excellent supportive processes available that they have set their mind on using.
And the truth of the matter seems to be that prior to eventually quitting any long-held habit, there seems to be a preparatory period of internal incubation of thought and negotiation that goes on within us - quiet and private and unbeknown to the rest of the world.

Do we , don’t we, can we - a weighing up of all the pros and cons, the advantages and the disadvantages - how will this change in habit impact life on a daily basis - what is the worst case scenario? With smoking the familiar one is ‘I will never manage!’ We seem to relentlessly play all these aspects of the problem habit over and over in our heads.

And then the day eventually dawns, THE day when you have got it all together in your head, that today is the day - then you are able and ready and totally ready to eliminate that habit.

If you are one of these people, until that day comes, and as an Advanced-EFT Practitioner and a Hypnotherapist, all I can honestly confess to doing with you is helping you to prepare and plan - to support yourself with credible tools from the therapeutic tool-box - until you get to that final day. Chipping away at the resistance with hypnosis, and using EFT tapping to help with cravings - and even if you begin slowly to cut down on the amount of cigarettes, just 1 or 2 a day that still in my book is solid progress towards your goal.

And then that day comes and we do a session and you walk out of my practice and feel so ok about stopping that you later surprise yourself with the low level of cravings - in fact they are so low, that you definitely feel you have the total courage to say - I can leave that! I don’t really need that! And there you are.

Remember it has taken you a long time to get so deeply entrenched within your particular habit - it has been with you as a crutch and support and it makes sense that it cannot be so easily thrown off like a coat that no longer protects you from ill winds.

People who don’t find it easy to give up smoking usually have a number of beliefs around the habit which need to be cleared first. These beliefs could be to do with self-worth and confidence, or any number of other things. Once the beliefs have been identified and removed, it is much easier to give up smoking. And it is all these beliefs that go back and forth in your head, taking you forward to the day of reckoning.

So the fact is that there can be a certain amount of time spent getting set up for the big day - and you know it really is not that important in the long run - that period could take days, months or indeed years - it just depends on the habit and the person. The main thing is that you push on ahead and acknowledge each small success you are able to gain on the way.

Don’t worry or even look back at any amount of failures as this just instigates more of the same for the immediate future ‘ again the law of attraction’ - continuing to dwell on each small success will set you up for even more success. Remember it is like this for everyone, whether it is losing weight, changing jobs, quitting alcohol, leaving an unsuitable partner and a host of other reasons.

Forget about all the things that did or did not work - we have all failed at things in the past. A great thought to keep in mind is that some of the most successful people in the world, are the ones with the most amount of failures! Yes! they are the ones who keep on keeping on - they never give up - unlike most people - they keep going on until they succeed - and you can decide to be one of these people in 2008.

What do you do now? Set yourself a date - and here’s another warning - DO NOT give up if that date needs renegotiating - just set another one - keeping in your mind that YOUR own particular date is coming closer and closer.

The important thing is to rest assured, that deep within the conscious and sub-conscious parts of you - this important and powerful negotiation is going on - this important negotiation between your physical self with a penchant for crutches and prevarication, and your inner being who knows full well the dreams you have set yourself, and the amazing power you really have to bring all of these dreams into reality.

Your inner being in fact has already set up this change for you in a non-physical sense - and it is waiting and lovingly holding the space for you as you follow through with your inner negotiations that will bring you to your pre-conceived idea of quitting your habit.

So it’s now March, and you are not there yet! So what! I urge you to stick it out - maybe you will only do half as well as you thought you would, but that might be more progress with this habit that you have managed in years put together, - so just give it your best shot. How many times have you sat and wondered - if you had stuck with something, what would have happened?

It is so easy to just excuse yourself out of something vital to your life just because it seemed too hard to accomplish, or because of any other reasons you chose to use. Not giving things a chance, and being ready to quit with any minor excuse is a very normal human thing to do.

We shut down and stay where we are because the thought of the new place causes feelings of extreme discomfort - even feelings of panic that we might not survive the new circumstances - and this is when with clients we always try on for size the worst case scenarios and tap away at them to eliminate any resistance to change.

So remember having any of these feelings do not make you a loser - more importantly it means that you are still on the road, and building up more strength with each step forward. Eventually you will reach your goal.

Until later . . .

I am now back to work after a while of totally downing tools to spend some time with my son and his family in their new home in Provence, France. Not only was the move exciting as he has always lived in London, but as well as spending time with my little grand-son of 20 months, there was a new addition to the family - a beautiful little girl.

I always knew that I would enjoy being a grandmother, however I had no idea that I would enjoy it this much! A friend already a grandmother had warned me mind you - she told me that it was like ‘falling in love again’. I really believed at the time that I knew what she meant - but how wrong I was.

It seems to affect you much much more deeper than that - especially when they stare intensely into your eyes with their large shiny eyes - and mesmerised, not only do you see your own soul reflected back at you - you see also your own children - and even recognise characteristics of relatives going way back, on both sides of the families.

I am a huge fan of Doreen Virtue and for those of you interested, her little book ‘The Crystal Children’ is a little gem. These new children with their magnetic qualities now being born are really quite amazing, and the book gives you a wonderful insight into what they are all about.

Already my grand-son loves crystals and rocks, music, animals and nature - he is also extremely kind, forgiving and sweet-natured as well as highly sensitive and emphatic.

And according to Lynne McTaggart (see her excellent books ‘The Intention Experiment’ & ‘The Field’) : -

‘EEG studies of the brains of children under five show that they permanently function in alpha mode—the state of altered consciousness in an adult—rather than the beta mode of ordinary mature consciousness.’

She also goes on to say that ‘Children are open to far more information in The Field than the average adult. In effect, a child walks around in a state of permanent hallucination with a wider ‘bandwidth’ than normal.’

I am having so much fun with him, and now I get to have a great time with his new sister, who promises to be much of the same. What fun!

However, it is back to work for now - enough already with the doting grandmother . . .

A warm welcome to all new readers, and to my regular readers. I trust you all had a wonderful holiday season, and are now formulating new plans, and earnestly looking forward to a brand new shiny happy, healthy and successful New Year. Especially as the word out on the streets by the top spiritual gurus, is that 2008 is to be a much much easier year than 2007 was for remembering and bringing our dearest dreams and desires into life.

This may well have a connection with our approach to the year 2012 and what many predict as the end of the Mayan Calendar. So this thought should, definitely make us all breathe a huge sigh of relief, as I believe that 2007 was a very tough and challenging one for many people, myself included.

So with that good news to spur us on our way, how does the year so far feel to you? To me it feels like like an extra turbo jet engine was attached whilst I slept on the night of 31stDec’07, as I somehow feel a good bit more powerful, and my energy boosted. And whilst I am hoping that this feeling of extra life energy will be enduring, just in case, and whilst my jets are spinning, I am intending to make good use of this extra life capacity; for there really is nothing that we cannot achieve if only we could truly believe in ourselves and our abilities.

We each of us have an incredible power, and an individual genius in some special aspect of our lives, if only we could locate this within ourselves. And maybe instead of expecting everyone we meet to fall in love with us, we should make 2008 the year we truly fall in love with ourselves; the year we really learn to believe in and respect ourselves and to begin to trust that indeed everything is possible in this world.

Albert Einstein believed ‘Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.’ So what can we imagine for ourselves this year - how adventurous will be in this imagining of our lives? Have you got a dream or two, whether big or small, that you have kept buried somewhere deep within your mind? How about digging it out now and finding ways of how it can be achieved? Or will we continue to stay within the box, within the familiar comfort zones, places where maybe you felt safe, but your spirit definitely didn’t.

Some of these zones absolutely no longer work for us - in fact haven’t worked for us for ages, yet we remain safe in the mere familiarity of our stalemates, resolutely shipwrecked, and clinging on for dear life! But believe you can’t and you most certainly won’t; however, if in this turbo-charged year if you can believe that you can, then the Gods seemed to have deemed, that you are now in with a greater chance of finally reclaiming those buried dreams. Read the rest of this entry »

As Christmas draws close, our hope is that this will be a time of joy and peace for you and those close to you.  However, as the pace leading up to the big day increases, we tend to get busier and busier.  So much so that our diets go to pot along with our exercise schedules.  And as for your emotions? Well don’t ask, as the ’to do’ list never seems to end, leaving you exhausted, and actually dreading Christmas!

So why not just stop and take a moment – put the do not disturb sign up - make a pot of your favourite tea and sit in front of a fire, or somewhere else quiet and undisturbed, and take some time to consider.

What can you can personally do at this busy time of year to protect yourself both physically and emotionally.  Consider also asking for the support of others, so that you can make this Christmas one that is warm, magical and beautiful with your family.

Make a list for each day – this will help with any procrastination, and get you up and out the house.

It is easy to say, I am already tired and far too busy so will just skip the exercises for today – don’t.  You may not believe it, but doing your exercise will actually boost your meridian system, provide much needed energy, and set you up for a brilliant day ahead.  I will be away from my treadmill so will be taking my skipping rope with me to ensure I do my 12 minutes.

Always remember to not let your blood sugar levels get out of control.  Ensure that you eat nutritious foods during the day whilst rushing around - pack some almonds and fruit to go.   Do not starve yourself all day, as when it comes to the evening meal, you will be ravenous and end up eating far too much before going to bed.

Cook delicious easy 1-pot menu’s like chicken or beef casserole – perfect for these busy days – as well as helping to empty the freezer, therefore making room for the holiday foods to come.

And use the time spent whilst the casserole is in the oven to treat yourself to a nice soak in a hot bath with your favourite essential oils – light some candles and take a glass of wine in with you for good measure – don’t worry, as long as it is on simmer, the yummy aroma of the casserole will keep the family going for a bit . . .

Enjoy all the parties and holiday indulgences and enjoy also some of those carbs and delicious desserts – live in the moment – savour and enjoy each mouthful for the moment without any horrible feelings of guilt.

And here are some tips to help with cravings, to help you get through the season having tasted and enjoyed all the holiday goodies, yet staying this side of going totally overboard and clearing out the buffet table!

• Extra magnesium will help with chocolate cravings, as will magnesium rich foods such as raw nuts and seeds, beans and fruits

• Chromium will help with craving for sweet foods, as will chromium rich foods such as broccoli, calves liver, chicken grapes, and cheese

• Cravings for bread may be offset by high protein foods, eg meat fish, nuts & beans

• Calcium will help with cravings for oily snacks, eg crisps/chips or other fatty foods – calcium rich foods are broccoli, sesame, kale, cheese

• And DO NOT FORGET to tap using EFT for all cravings – EFT has the ability to put a stop to cravings in a moment!

• As well use temporal taps ie around your ears for help with all those junk food cravings, remembering that junk food is responsible for a lot of depression at Christmas time.

Be confident both emotionally and physically this Christmas by making conscious choices on a moment to moment basis throughout these energy & emotionally-packed days – really take the time to enjoy each and every moment with your families at this magical and beautiful time, whilst looking forward to a New Year, and a fresh start with bright new goals!

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and  Happy Healthy and Successful New Year  . . .

As we get closer and closer towards Christmas holidays, we recognise it as being the time traditionally for getting together with family and friends. However for some of us, there might well be some concern about meeting up with a particular member of the family or maybe a family friend. And this is where EFT can really come to the rescue, if we are able to tap on a specific relationship.

Is there someone that you are not looking forward to spending prolonged periods with over the holidays? Does the mere thought of them unnerve you and does everything you do just seem to annoy them - so much so that you now feel uncomfortable in their presence; or, does everything another does just guaranteed to get under your skin?

If so use your EFT and tap:

• Even though I am really not looking forward to being with . . . . . for a prolonged period of time, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
• Even though it is going to be really difficult to remain calm and unaffected when . . . . . winds me up continually, I deeply and completely love and accept myself?
• Even though I will find it almost impossible to not attack or retaliate when under pressure, I deeply and completely love, trust and accept myself.

If this sounds more than a little familiar to you, now might also be a good time to consider whether you would rather be right or be happy? When you truly ask this question of yourself, you will find that on a deeper level you might prefer to take the high road to choosing to be happy rather than being right.

How about drawing a line in the past, therefore leaving the way open for the possibility of a clearer and more communicative relationship when you consider the actual and real value of the relationship?

Just reacting as you always have in the past when triggered, will probably ruin yet another holiday for you. However taking responsibility for the situation and how we feel, we are more likely to achieve a positive outcome. Not only will the personal peace gained from this be very worth it, but it may well set the tone for a better quality relationship with this person in the future!

So keep tapping . . .

As that now famous commercial jingle goes, The Holidays Are Coming . . . The Holidays are coming . . . this seems an ideal time for using some EFT to really prepare ourselves, body, mind and soul for the coming weeks.

How ready and prepared are you so as to ensure the best holiday season ever? As far as I am concerned, no matter how festive the decorations around, I usually go for a slow build up. As well, as my birthday is on December 14th, in my family, the tree always went up on my birthday; this of course always coincided with my birthday party!! So you can imagine as I inch towards the 14th, I am only just beginning to get into the holiday spirit.

Working with The Law of Attraction, I have however taken a moment to sit still and write down exactly what my hopes are for the holidays and here are some I came up with for this year : -

• A beautifully decorated house with a pretty tree, white candles & fresh green decorations all over and a jolly and attractive wreath on the front door
• All my family, who are able to make it home to share this special time
• A roaring log fire for us is an absolute must, as we have become addicted to that special smell of burning wood and fresh pine leaves (last year we even roasted a leg of lamb in front the fire – much to the delight of the dog who sat guarding it all night!)
• Lovely long walks across the national park that boarders onto the house we rent in Provence with the invigorating and delicious aromas of rosemary and thyme that are released with each and every footstep
• The definite chance of beautiful days with bright clear blue skies and deliciously warm Provencal days – an absolute bonus as we can sit outside or play Boules!
• And I guess because we are a conjoined family of total foodies, the table is usually decked with loads of wonderful food & drink, all specially selected and brought back from the fabulous Provencal markets, and of course Mr Leclerc (the big chain supermarket down there)
• However most of all this year we are all looking forward to being with my grandson who is now 21 months old – he was with us last year (9 months) and we had a great time, however he is so much more interactive now, so I look forward, with some dread too, at the thought of him living peacefully with the fully decked Christmas tree and other decorations, as well as the open fire with screen of course. We will be keeping a constant eye on him, however what fun we are all going to have with him on his first proper Christmas with us

So as I set my own personal intentions I guess it is time to tap in all the positive feelings I have to do with Christmas – personally I love it! However I am aware that there are many of you who experience Christmas as being a particularly sad and lonely time; as well, one of total anti-climax and disappointment.  So tapping on these feelings way up ahead is sure to be of use . . . we all know how far-reaching EFT can be, yet we are all guilty of not using it for moments like this when it can mean the difference between a not so good Christmas and a good one. So do not forget to tap . . .

However I urge you to put some intentions down on paper, as this should help in the first place – even if at this stage we can only put down what we definitely do not want to happen at Christmas! That way we can move forward to seeing what we might want, and what might please us most - as well, how to set about achieving those plans.

Look out for more posts on the lead up to the Holidays . . . however in the meantime

Baby steps . . . . baby steps . . .

My new brochure from the College of Psychic Studies in South Kensington has just dropped through my letterbox, and I am putting aside a quiet moment with a cup of tea to sit and choose which events I might like to participate in this coming Spring.

Having lived about 3 blocks away from the College since 1995, I cannot believe that it took a friend living far away, to invite me to a lecture there only this March! Since then the place has become like a second home to me, and it has been a joy to meet all the international and renowned authors/speakers who diligently and loyally give their time to the college.

People like:

• Dr Jude Currivan - author of the excellent books, The Wave, The 8th Chakra & The 13th Step. Jude does workshops and courses at the college as well as weekends at her home in Avebury
• Dr Lynne McTaggart - author of The Field recently gave a lecture to introduce her new book The Intention Experiment

• Dr Christine Page - also recently gave a lecture introducing her latest work The Miraculous Heart

These are just a few of my favourite lectures so far, and the list goes on and on. There are courses on healing, meditation, psychic development & mediumship, crystals, angels, etc etc. You are sure to find some are of interest and joining the College is easy.

As well there is a useful library, and all the receptionists, and helpers at the college are wonderful and available to chat to if you have any questions.

Pay a membership fee of £40 per year and you will soon have recouped that amount in the various discounts you will receive when you book a lecture/course or workshop. The lectures are usually £6 or £4 if a member. The workshops are usually £70 for a day workshop, however £50 if a member.

I also only recently became aware of the Healing Clinic at the College. On Mondays from 11:15 - 4pm & Thursdays from 7:15 - 9:15pm, you can book a half-hour’s healing through reception with a suggested fee/donation of £5.

As well on Wednesdays from 11:15am - 1:30pm you can book a 15 minute healing session where 3 healers work on you simultaneously! And apparently the reason you only need a 15 minute session, is because of the extraordinarily powerful and synergistic input of energy of the 3 healers working in unison.

You may also see what’s on offer for next Spring’08 on the excellent College website - however, I advise you to phone and have a new brochure sent to you. Then once you have chosen your lectures etc, call and become a member.

As the brochure says: Founded in 1984, the College is an educational charity. It seeks to promote spiritual values and a greater understanding of the wider areas of human consciousness, welcoming the truths of all spiritual traditions, and, equally, each and every individual.

It is important that we continue to support and promote a place such as this - one that helps us to stretch and to widen our spiritual boundaries.

The College of Psychic Studies is at 16 Queensberry Place, London SW7 2EB and the telephone number is: 020 7589 3292 - The College Website

I have been working with my daughter on her needle phobia for a long while now, however her impending trip to India meant that she would now have to put our work to the test!

If she wanted to go, she would need 5 different vaccinations in all! And here is an instance when it may well be that the root cause for an issue lies with another person, and not yourself; a phobia that she may well have inadvertently picked up from me, her mother. Read the rest of this entry »

Ok, I may be a little biased here, however I stand firm in my conviction that Alison Munro is one of the best EFT trainers in London - if not the very best!

I make this claim as someone who has experienced her extensive training through Level I, Level II & Level III - Advanced. I was lucky to find Alison from the very beginning as my trainer - however, there must also be a very good reason why so many people who have already completed training with other trainers, come to her to re-do their Levels I, II & III!

This reason is her intense passion for EFT which shines out of every pore in her body, and is so contagious that it causes the learner to re-awaken their own passion for EFT & healing when they experience it all over again with this amazing teacher.   Read the rest of this entry »

As the basic tenet of EFT according to founder Gary Craig, is that ‘The cause of ALL negative emotions is a disruption in the body’s energy system’, newcomers to EFT, will be taught to tap on just one side of the body, ie beginning of eyebrow, side of eyebrow, under eye, under nose, middle of chin, shoulder bone, under arm, and top of head.

However, the body’s energy system is made up of 14 meridians in total, all of these branching out into hundreds of tiny energetic pathways. And as we never really know exactly where a blockage or disruption is, and nor do we have to, to be successful, tapping bilaterally ie on both sides of the body with both hands at one time, is a form of turbo-tapping that will usually speed up the tapping process on an issue considerably.   Read the rest of this entry »