Emotional Healing And Narcissism

Expanding on our ‘Nemesis’ Series of Posts and understanding of these issues that keep us stuck – well here’s one that falls slap bang in our continuing ‘nemesis posts‘ and within the area of healthy boundaries, and healthy balance of power within our relationships.  Know any narcissists? And what exactly is a narcissist? Well read this e-book, check out the characteristics, and count how many light-bulb moments occur for you.  

Blog authors, Lori Hoeck Of Think Like a Black Belt & Betsy Wuebker Of Passing Thru, have produced an amazing and entirely free piece of work that should be considered essential reading to anyone who have had to deal with difficult and puzzling people.  The ebook is called “The Narcissist – A User’s Guide”.  And before we dive in, here is a quick recap of  a personal ‘nemesis’ – ‘a sticky, thorny, area or aspect of our lives, that whatever we try, and however long we stick at it, we never manage to either transform, or shake off for good’.

The point here is to remember as Lori and Betsy point out early on in The Guide, is that, ‘Dysfunctional people are a part of life. They help us grow emotionally and spiritually as we learn to deal with out anger toward them or we let go of needing to control them’.  True healing is being able to recognise and identify the buttons these people push that provoke certain reactions within us; to understand also that some people need to elevate their own self-worth by diminishing ours.

The ebook features many stories of those who have survived a relationship with a narcissist and survived to tell the tale.  The ones who have, tell humbly of the denial involved – their co-dependency – the outright unwillingness to believe due to “the addictive hold the whole dynamic has for the narcissist, and to a lesser extent the narcissist’s enabler in the relationship”.  Until one day the certain realisation dawns, as Clarissa Pinkola Estes points out in Women Who Run With The Wolves; that “When the soulful life is being threatened, it is not only acceptable to draw the line and mean it, it is required.”

With recognising and identifying however comes the necessary healing – the dawning that you may indeed have tired of feeding this particular dynamic – the lesson has been learnt – and it is time to move on to better times – to times when your body, mind and spirit are free to just be – no more walking on eggshells – no more games, no more traps, no more put downs, and most of all NO more manipulations – to even believe that it is possible to attract new more healthy relationships with people more on an equal healing level.

To have gained the awareness that those well-used buttons used by our narcissist were merely ‘buttons of unresolved fears or pain’ within us is a sobering event, though one that propels us forward from that old place of pain.  Will it be easy once you get to this point of no return and release the hold of the narcissist? That depends, however, do take careful note here, of the recommendations of Lori and Betsy in relation to your personal safety!

Have faith at this time however, and begin to discern what is truely happening within.  For underneath it all will be a recognisable feeling of a ‘high five from your Higher/Authentic Self as you re-join and realign body mind and spirit,  and realise with certainty that this major and important life lesson has been accomplished. Woo Hoo – way to go!

And even if you feel the need to occasionally look behind for any sign of that familiar spectre of the old ‘nemesis’, realise that the addiction to that situation is now over – that any needs, self-doubts that may have been met from that old situation, now actually can and need to be fully met by yourself, as each day you grow stronger and stronger.

As The Guide predicts “You finally learn that “kindness doesn’t come with strings attached; manipulation does.”

A huge thank you to Lori and Betsy for this highly informative free download of ‘The Narcissist: A User’s Guide’ check out Lori Hoeck Think Like A Black Belt & Betsy Wuebker Passing Thru.

Some further essential reading that will support your progression having read The Guide’ is Caroline Myss’ excellent book ‘Anatomy of the Spirit’ – where she discusses fully our ‘power’ in relation to the chakras – 1st Chakra Tribal Power/2nd Chakra The Power of Relationships/3rd Chakra Personal Power & Self-Esteem/4th Chakra Emotional Power/5th Chakra The Power of Will/6th Chakra The Power of the Mind/7th Chakra Our Spiritual Power & Connection.

Bless you as you do this work.  I love the meaning of Namaste which is the light in me, greets/recognises the light within you – and I say it now to you at this point if you are indeed having those light-bulb moments that I mentioned earlier.  Do what is necessary and reach out to the trust-worthy around you, those able to support you with this massive shift in consciousness.

Namaste

Till later .  .  .

Tagged as: Betsy Wuebker, Energy Healing, Lori Hoeck, narcissism, The Narcissist A User Guide, What is a Narcissist